Flat-Faced Pug

I know you've heard of getting $#!t-faced. And I know I've been known to tie one on myself BUT DAMN WOMAN!!! Let me know you pulled the bloomin' stairs back from the bed!!

See...it's like this. SWFM (she-who-feeds-me) had to have something fixed with her leg. I heard them mention her knee. Heck, if it was me, they'd probably take me out for a long, long, LONG one-way roadtrip if you get my drift. Anyway, SWFM got these really cool stairs that she put next to the bed. I like'em. I can get up and down whenever my lazy heart desires. It WAS very nice for those middle of the night/2:00am potty runs when she wouldn't stop snoring to let me out. I could tip-toe down the stairs, leave my present, and tip-toe back to bed without her even missing a snore.

Well, she caught on, dammit. She thought she got smart. After we went to bed the other night, she pulled the stairs back from the edge of the bed. (Do you see where this is heading now?) YEP. You guessed it. We pugs don't see that great at night. No cat vision for us. No sirree!! Yep. That's right. I got up to play Santa Claus and leave my "present" and took one step and...

SPLAT!!!!

FACE FIRST!!!!

Right off the side of the bed. Let me tell you...that first step is a DOOZY!!!!

NOW she wakes up. damn. SHUT UP, FURBALL! Quit laughing!

Don't you know pugs ALREADY have a flat face? We don't need any help making it flatter!!

Needless to say, things have changed (and no, not my face, I'm still as handsome as ever, ladies). SWFM moves the stairs TOTALLY away from the bed now. And, I'm not leaving midnight potty presents down the hall.

Damn. My face still hurts.