Hey Cow!!

 

You can't get me!!

Na na na na nu nu!!

And later...I'm gonna have a big, fat, juicy steak for supper.

 

 

 

I'm a Cowboy!

Yippee Kai Yai Yay!!!!!

Yeah...I'm doing my Bruce Willis impersonation. I'm a baaaaaaaaaaad cowboy! Watch me wrangle up some stray dogies and show'em who's boss.

I told'em!

They knew.

If that fence just hadn't been in my way, I would've had me some juicy, thick, delicious and fresh T-bone steak for supper.

Damn fence!

It got in the way of my stomach.

I even did my best bull dance...they were scared. Uh huh!



I Got a New Toy...

I got a new toy.

One that makes lots of clicks,
One that makes me feel like a czar,
And get me a lot of chicks.
I got a new toy.
One that I take to bed,
One that has a big pink nose
And I can't tear to shreds.

It's a big pink flamingo.
It used to be brand new.
And it makes me feel
Like I feel I'll shout yaaaaahoo!
I'm in love with you.

I got a new toy.
One that gives thrills.
One that didn't cost too much
Or have a refill.
I got a new toy.
One that better stay.
One that could keep her up all night.
One that could make me sleep all day.
One that will make me really fuss

Wonderin' where it flew.
One that makes me feel
Like I feel I'll shout yaaaaahoo!
I'm in love with you.

I'm in love with you, Pinkie.

(Thanks Huey Lewis!)

It crunches...It squeaks...It has LOTS of places to chew and suck. It's PINKIE!!!! 

I love Human #2. She came over with a bag. A BAG with surprise in it for ME!!!! She's really special like that. 

 

I love Pinkie. I am one happy dog.

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEE!!!

It's my birthday!!! Where are my presents?!?!?!

I like getting older. Bring it on! Getting older just means I can get away with more stuff. Blame it on "old age". Yeah. That's it. I'm old and too feeble to go outside. Carry me. Hold me. Call me Sweet Cheeks!

SWFM spoiled me. She took me for a ride in the car (and brought me back home) and we got ICE CREAM!!!!

I scream; you scream; we all scream for ICE CREAM!!!

Well...I might not be screaming but more like snorting with delight!! DAMN GOOD ice cream!!!

It was a double-dipped, double-lickin' good kind of spoonful of Maggie Moo's delicious vanilla ice cream.

I haz a happy, cold tummy now.

::snooooooooooooooooooooooooooort!!!::

Merry Christmas!!!

I haz a happy!! Santa Claus came to see me!!! I thought that old codger knew everything. He obviously didn't check his list twice because I know I wasn't good!!! I'm not complaining. I got delicious new bone. The look says it all.

She-Who-Feeds-Me has not found ALL the gifts I've left for her this year!! bwahahahahahahaa!!She'll find them eventually.  :P

 

Now to start on next year's gift giving. I've got LOTS of gifts to start "wrapping." You know, it's damn hard to wrap when you don't have thumbs!

It's Popcorn-tober!!!

Open wide... Insert POPCORN!!!!!

This is one my favorite months of the year...National POPCORN Month!! I LOVE POPCORN!!!! I ADORE POPCORN!!!!

I want to pop a field of popcorn and roll nekkid in it. Then eat my way out. I LOVE POPCORN!!!

Do you know that I love popcorn? I DO!!!!!!!

SWFM has been popping popcorn this month...but NOT ENOUGH!!! Hey, SWFM, LISTEN UP...I...WANT...MORE...POPCORN!!!

I can tell when she's thinking about popcorn. I get this vibe then the sweet buttery aroma starts drifting by my nose. POP! What's that I hear?!  POP! POP! POP!! POPCORN!!!!!

Time for my happy POPCORN dance!!!

Only thing that would make this any better would be a hot, little pugette all dressed up as a popcorn ball and drizzled with butter as she feeds me one luscious popped kernel at a time. ::pug dreams::

Hmmmmmm... I think I'll have SWFM make me some POPCORN BALLS!!!!

New Hybrid Breed

Not sure what to call it...

Peep? Shug? Plamb? Lug?

Maybe just plain ol' fugly!!!

Pug Centerfold

Be still my beating pug heart! I'm in LOVE!!!!
I'm definitely printing this babe and plastering her all over my pug pad! Hubba hubba!!!! Talk about making my tongue hang out...that's an understatement!! SWFM will be telling me all night "put that crayon up!" :D

Sweet dreams for me tonight!!!

Wonder if I can find her number...Anybody got any connections??

It's TOO DAMN HOT!

It's too damn hot to do anything...even snuggle with my PILLOW. All I want to do is lay around the pool and check out the babes. Now, I need to train SWFM to bring me a COLD drink...and I don't mean iced tea!! It's cold beer time, human!

Barkeep...Where's My Friend, Jose?

It's been a rough couple of weeks. Had a house full of smelly old Humans and extra Furballs. My routine was totally destroyed. My toys were moved and cleaned. And a DAMN FURBALL took over my SPECIAL pillow.

I've had everything regrunged to my liking. My routine is almost back to normal. She-Who-Feeds-Me is becoming Human again. There's a peace filling MY house once more.

So bartender, pour me another tequila!! Take my car keys...this pug is fixing to get ROWDY!!

My Life is Being Taken Over by FURBALLS!

DAMMIT!

I swear! This damn new furball at my house is totally taking over and screwing up our routines!!!

First off...he's just here. period.
Second. HE HIT ME!!!! damn cat.
Then he has the nerve to sleep in my toys as you read in my earlier post, I've Got Company.

AND NOW...NOW...Now he is sleeping on MY PILLOW! You know...my SPECIAL pillow... the one Britney Spears wrote a song about. The pillow that I LOOOOOOOOOOVE!! Now, my precious pillow is covered in freaking cat hair and cat cooties!!! GAG!!!!

damn furball.

my pillow is soiled.  :(  my pillow is tainted.  :(   my pillow.   ::sob::

It's Raining Crumbs!!

Just sitting here...waiting for more crumbs to fall.
It's like catching snowflakes at Christmas. :P
That's one of the benefits of having a tongue like mine. :P

Aren't you jealous?!?!?!

Toooo Much Party

I bet y'all have been wondering where I've been. Well...true to form...I've been passed out since the Super Bowl party. She-who-feeds-me became She-who-holds-me. Truth be known, I've been milking it for all it's worth!!! My days have been filled with LOTS and LOTS of snoring. My hangover's gone now (actually it's been gone) and Spring is in the air! Time for me to wake up. 

Look out world!! Max is back!!!!!!!

My Favorite Super Bowl Commercial

Now someone bring ME some Doritos!!!!!
Ain't he a handsome devil?? Just like me :P

Are You Ready for Some FOOTBALL!?!?!?

It's time for some fooooooooooootball!!! As any red-blooded American stud, I'm ready for Super Bowl XLV – Pittsburgh Steelers vs Green Bay Packers!

And yes... it's official ... I am a CHEESE PUG!!!!!!!! That's right. You heard it here first. I want the Green Bay Packers to win! I have my reasons. Maybe one of them is I'm glad they beat Chicago. But the MAIN REASON is.... drum roll, please ... I love cheese. Roll me over in some shredded, grated, cubed, fried, and melted cheese and call me "CHEDDAR".

So bring on the popcorn, queso and chips, and liquid refreshments...IT'S FOOTBALL TIME!!!

Pugs and Snow Do Not Mix!

PEOPLE!!!!! PEOPLE!!!!! I thought y'all were smarter than this!

My poor yankee cousin (who at least picks the right team -- GO GREEN BAY!) is outside shivering in the cold, cold, wet, snow. PEOPLE!!!

Pugs DO NOT LIKE SNOW!!!!

We DO NOT LIKE TO BE COLD!!!!

Doesn't matter HOW many coats you put on us. Doesn't matter HOW warm you think we are cuz we are "DOGS". It's freakin' COLD outside!!! If YOU are shivering...chances are we PUGS are shivering too!!! GEEZ!!!!

Fix us a flat of grass to potty on inside the house then just hose it off. WE DO NOT WANT to go outside when it's BELOW 32F!!!! Our dinkies will freeze!!! And we do not want a dinkycicle!! How would you like to go pee in the snow and your tallywacker get frost bite? Hurts just thinking about, eh? Well, DUH!

Pugs belong in front of the fire, snuggled up next to our humans, sipping on a cup of hot chocolate and being fed marshmallows.

Got the picture? Good. Now do it!

Lap of Luxury!

Nothing like naps in the lap of luxury!!!

That's right. They know who's king around here. ME!!!!! Poor furball. NOT! She has to sleep by herself. I...ME...King Max gets the lap. SWFM is away so I get Human #2. She treats me like royalty like she knows she should. I do allow her to watch TV or knit as long as she remembers who is boss.

Who cares if I napped all day...I'm napping again in the lap of luxury and will probably do it again tomorrow. :P

Merry Belated Pugmas!!

Ain't that just a picture perfect Christmas card?! You've got your poinsettia, fiber optic Christmas tree, fake fireplace and a HANDSOME pug basking in the warmth of it's glow. Hey! I'm in Texas so cut me some slack. Grandma does the best she can.

Somebody pass me the eggnog! It's pug sing-along time!!

Max's Christmas Bells

Dashing through the yard,

A pug run I display.

O’er the grass I go,

Barking all the way!

Cats, they all scatter.

Causing much more fright.

What fun it is to hear the clatter

Throughout my house tonight!

.

Ooooooh!

.

Tubby pug, tubby pug

Jiggling all the way.

Oh, what chaos can I wreak

Upon my house tonight?

Tubby pug, tubby pug

Jiggling all the way.

Oh, what chaos can I wreak

Upon my house tonight?

.

HEY!
(c) 2011 MaxZPug

Merry Pugmas, Everyone!!!
And a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Flat-Faced Pug

I know you've heard of getting $#!t-faced. And I know I've been known to tie one on myself BUT DAMN WOMAN!!! Let me know you pulled the bloomin' stairs back from the bed!!

See...it's like this. SWFM (she-who-feeds-me) had to have something fixed with her leg. I heard them mention her knee. Heck, if it was me, they'd probably take me out for a long, long, LONG one-way roadtrip if you get my drift. Anyway, SWFM got these really cool stairs that she put next to the bed. I like'em. I can get up and down whenever my lazy heart desires. It WAS very nice for those middle of the night/2:00am potty runs when she wouldn't stop snoring to let me out. I could tip-toe down the stairs, leave my present, and tip-toe back to bed without her even missing a snore.

Well, she caught on, dammit. She thought she got smart. After we went to bed the other night, she pulled the stairs back from the edge of the bed. (Do you see where this is heading now?) YEP. You guessed it. We pugs don't see that great at night. No cat vision for us. No sirree!! Yep. That's right. I got up to play Santa Claus and leave my "present" and took one step and...

SPLAT!!!!

FACE FIRST!!!!

Right off the side of the bed. Let me tell you...that first step is a DOOZY!!!!

NOW she wakes up. damn. SHUT UP, FURBALL! Quit laughing!

Don't you know pugs ALREADY have a flat face? We don't need any help making it flatter!!

Needless to say, things have changed (and no, not my face, I'm still as handsome as ever, ladies). SWFM moves the stairs TOTALLY away from the bed now. And, I'm not leaving midnight potty presents down the hall.

Damn. My face still hurts.

Happy Pug!

Oh man! What a difference a day makes!! I feel SOOOOO much better today. I was able to finally sleep – thanks to the FURBALL leaving me alone. I don't ache today. And besides, those delicious Peanut Butter Balls have medicinal properties...They make my tummy happy!

Look out world!!! The Max is BACK!!!!