Tuesday, April 7, 2009

She thinks she can fool me!

NOT! So SWFM thinks she's pretty smart. HA! I've got her trained now.

Last week SWFM took me on a wonderful car ride that ended up at the V-E-T. That wasn't nice. I thought we were out for a joy ride when lo and behold, she had an ulterior motive! I did okay at first. Showed off by prancing over to the scale and politely waiting for the intern to see how much I weighed as my tooshie was freezing on the COLD metal scale. I should have known then about how things were going to go then.

I like my V-E-T. He's a goofy guy. Talks funny. Makes on over how handsome and well-behaved I am. Of course! But...he spoke too soon! He did NOT have to put his COLD hands where he did. Those are MY personal jewels! Things are working quite well with out his COLD hands checking my private parts - thank you very much. At least he didn't make me bend over and cough like last time. It's hell getting old. Us PUGS have our dignity, you know! As if that wasn't enough, then the goofy human comes at me with a long point stick. OUCH!!! He shot me!!

I thought we were done with the humiliation at the V-E-T but NO! SWFM wants a metro-sexual pug...I had to have my nails done. GEEZ! They came at me with some new torture device that spun and buzzed and vibrated. Never again! When will those stupid humans learn -- YOU DON'T TOUCH THE FEET, HUMANS!!!

Finally, SWFM took me too the car for another car ride. NO TRICKS THIS TIME, LADY! I've got your number. I couldn't wait to get home. I knew just how to pay her back...time for a little game of "TAG". She'll find my puddle later when it's toooooooo late. SNORT!

Now I have to take medicine. SWFM thinks she has me trained. Only, it's me that's got her trained. After I secure the backyard and chase off any trespassing varmints, I sit on my foot stool. She comes to me with a snack and my meds. First she gives me a snack; then she gives me my medicine like a good human. But today, senility set in. She gave me my medicine first. WRONG!!! Get it straight human!! Food first...THEN medicine.

Geez. It's hard to find a good pet these days.

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